The "Oi! LEAVE KIERAN OUT OF IT" campaign...

The campaign for the protection of poor vulnerable Kieran 'keys'  Mahon - a man constantly on the receiving end of other band member's abuse, belittling, exploitation and comic relief. Although of course we realise that to some extent - keyboard players should expect this type of thing...we feel that Kieran is due for a break from this cycle of torrential suffering. To highlight the international crisis of this tragedy: the following are extracts from Realision Journal.... I warn that some people might find the following extracts distressingly sad.. 

"13/06/01:  When recording finished band took a trip to the pool. Here things began to take a nasty turn. Keiran became suspicious when rest of band began to take their phones out of their pockets. When he refused to do the same, Didz and Ben jumped on him.Keiran broke free twice but was pulled back down each time. Tiring from the physical strain of fighting 3 men, he gave in. After a few seconds he was thrown into icy cold water. "From my vast survival training I remembered to keep my head above the water. I quickly got myself out and spent the rest of the night plotting revenge. I was mad". Keiran"

"1/11/01 Liverpool Royal Court:  Kieran selflessly threw himself upon keys during the 'angry' period of Way Out West, only for the entire rig to fall to the floor, the musician taken with it. Fortunately little more than pride was damaged and the group still managed to play drinking games in the dressing room, mocking the stupid little man"  (source: www.realision.com)

(Tsk..they can't even be arsed to always get the spelling of his name correct in the journal...)

As if this is not quite enough...in addition Kieran has had to tolerate being defined by other band members as "last,and by all means least.." Similarly Benedict could barely be arsed to remember Kieran as a band member during an evening session introduction -  (seemingly) only grudgingly acknowledging his existence very much last and least by mumbling "Er..and Kieran..he twinkles on his little keyboard.....doesn't do much". Further still Ben has described Kieran as "not very good looking" - adding that he found it strange why girls bother with him after shows. And of course they name him 'the sex' (due to an 'apparent' lack there-of.) What a monkey bunch of evil little meanies...  Such examples only go some way to highlight the abominable level of insufferable abuse this man patiently endures....With such constant belittling it would be pretty surprising if the poor guy hasn't developed some kind of deep personal complex by now. Moreover he is bound to suffer a complete nervous breakdown by the time he reaches thirty-five if you don't just leave him alone....Stop picking on him yer lazy bar-stewards! (thank  you...)