OLLIE LIME COOPER

WHY?
COOPER TEMPLE CLAUSE HOME
INTERVIEW WITH KIERAN MAHON (and DIDZ HAMMOND)
QUESTIONTIME WITH DAN FISHER
ANOTHER KIERAN INTERVIEW
MR.TOM BELLAMY'S JEANS: AN APOLOGY
2006 TOUR, PREVIOUS DATES, LIVE PICS
JON and TOM's HAIRSTYLING SALON
STUPID STUFF: DIDZ'S KNITTING TIPZ
STUPID STUFF 2: FISHER'S RECORDER COLLECTION / ASK UNCLE BEN
FAN GALLERY
WHY?
FAVOURITISM
FISH/MONKEY SPOTTING
MISHEARD LYRICS
MESSAGEBOARD FORUM / LIVE CHATROOM
DISCOGRAPHY
TCTC SNAPS
WATERFRONT & FORUM GIGS
REVIEWS and PHOTOS
C<L>AUSE & EFFECT
FOXHOLSKI T'S & BADGES! / YOUR HANDMADE COOPER T'S / OFFICIAL T'S
KIERAN CAMPAIGN / GIVE JON A HALO
*TICK EVERY NOW AND THEN AMUSINGLY*
FOXHOLSKI LINKS
WE DARE YOU TO DEFINE A SINGLE THING WE PLAY
LINKAGES
MAILBOX

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,...are TCTC better than your band???

"In a bedroom near you, there is probably a band 'jamming'. . The band will comprise   a drummer who can't fit his/her kit in the room, a frustrated singer, no bassist & 4 guitarists. One guitarist will eventually go to bass, another will be kicked out because s/he could only play the riff to 'Day Tripper', & the drummer will start worrying about his/her security within the group after the singer starts eyeing up drum machines. The fledgling band will eventually find a rehearsal room - where they will practise for weeks on end. ..Finally they will get gigs. Their first gig will be packed with their mates. Their next won't be as busy because the footie's on TV. The gig after that will be emptier still....as their mates no longer fancy paying 4 for the privilege of seeing their hapless chums churn out some atonal racket. Yet still, the band think the world owes them a living and start getting pissed off that promoters are no longer offering them gigs... In due course, the band will become jealous of others. They will get together some of their more mouthy mates, and litter gigs with their presence. They will shout abuse. They will fail to see how said band is signed and they are not. They will later go home and post anonymous abuse on Internet messageboards about the band in question. And, to cap it all, the green-eyed band members will say... "They  won't get anywhere with a name like that.." Admittedly TCTC escape any such abuse tonight, but as I type there are bands around the country literally foaming at the mouth in anger about how 'easy' some people have had it....

Reasons why TCTC are better than your band...

1.) You have slogged it out in pay-to-play pub venues playing your un-unique brand of predictable cover versions, inviting along your parents in the hope that they will tell their friends about how good you are, thinking this is how you build a following. TCTC play a blend of frantic guitar riffage mixed with synthpop and dance, while at the same time sounding like an excitable orgy of Spiritualized, The Verve, Primal Scream and Led Zeppelin. Funnily enough, people prefer this sort of music to yours...

 2) Your singer is nondescript and your guitarists can only play open chords that they learnt from an Oasis songbook. TCTC's guitarists know the art of the quiet-loud thing, as well as big bastard riffs, providing that all-important X Factor...

3) You have recorded a demo on a 4-track you hired. Not knowing how to use it properly, you set up the 4-track in your practice room with two mics in the corner, recording four songs live then mixing awful guitar solos on the other two tracks, thinking this was a good use of overdubbing. You then pressed 50 copies on CDR and tried to flog this as an 'EP' on your imaginary record label. Your friends said "I'm not buying that shite" and went to HMV to get Stephen Malkmus' album instead. TCTC recorded their EP with somebody who's worked with Placebo, among others, making it sound sonically brilliant whilst still maintaining the hard edge of their live set, but pulling the heartstrings in places when it's most needed. They release it on vinyl and make sure it's something special for the people who are supporting them at this early stage. Due to having the cred of artistic license thorugh their own label, the marketing budget of BMG /RCA ensures makes it available to the public in a far more pleasing form than your badly-produced, piece-of-shit excuse of an "EP" on look-we-are-signed-2-a-label-honest Records which is only sold at your gigs by some minger who's more interested in staring at girls' yam yams than he is flogging your bit of musical dirge..

.4) TCTC are better-looking than you, younger than you, and could probably have you in a fight cos they outnumber you. But don't be disheartened, dear band member it's not The Cooper Temple Clause fault they are talented and have a bright future ahead." stolen from www.alphabetty.co.uk

And don't worry failed musos...even successful,
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diversely talented bands...can have their off days....when they resemble a Gnome Sextet....see....

Click here : Is this the antithesis of the Clause's sonic magic??? Yeah probably.... :(